Funny how things just "seem to fit"at certain crossroads in life...
I've been yearning to overcome a dry spell in my spiritual walk for a great length of time... I've welcomed even the smallest drinks of water with extraordinary gratefulness. I have felt distant, empty at times, and frustrated beyond words. However, over the past couple weeks I have noticed an ever so slight pull at the strings of my heart; a tug that is attributed to none other than my heavenly Father. This gives me great hope....a trusting spirit.....and a believing mind.
Late yesterday evening proved to be one of those "pull at my heart" days. Life lately has been nothing short of a drama between a friend and I whom I hold dear to my heart. (Take note...I hate drama.) I've struggled for days upon days trying to come to terms as to why our friendship is so hard. Yet despite my frustrations and agitations, I feel it's so worth the battle. A battle I'm willing to fight....A friendship I'm willing to save.
No one said a battle would be easy. In fact, I would argue the midpoint of a battle is the most challenging time. Maybe even the most painful. What now? How do we move ahead? When will we come to see eye to eye? What does he/she think? Questions pile upon one another and before you know it, a mountain clouds your mind of clear, rationale thinking. You become vulnerable. You fear what lies before you. You are uncertain. . . . . All equating to a road of doubtful thinking.
Vulnerability + doubtful thinking = Attacks from Satan
My life Monday, September 20th, 2010, 9:10 p.m.
Overwhelmed with a sense of inadequacy in regards to friendships and relationships, I called out to friends expressing my need for prayer. Through a battle I became vulnerable. Once I became vulnerable, I fell into Satan's trap of doubting my abilities to be a friend to others. Stemming from a particular circumstance, I found these thoughts of inadequacy crossing over into my other friendships. It was a snowball effect that ultimately led me face down in my pillows crying out for help. I KNEW I was under attack. Just when I started to feel God's presence more in my life, Satan got me. He knows the perfect time and place...he KNOWS when we are yearning for God and seeking his face...and that's when he strikes.
I praise the Lord for friends who care. Friends who will say a short pray. Friends who will call to encourage you. Friends who tell you, "you are a great friend and I love you." Friends who are there RIGHT when you need them. There's no other way to explain how four people were at their phones exactly at 915 pm last night,when a text of desperation came through other than to say it was God's mighty hand. I thank him for not ever giving up on a child who is dry and weary, but one who is yearning for even a splash of water.
Pray before it's too late...
To overcome this dry spell, I am trying to get at least a small bite of spiritual food daily. After work, I clicked on the Joyce Meyer link on my favorites page to find the title of the daily devotion, "Pray Before it's too Late." Before even reading this, I stopped mid-thought and remembered last night. If I am honest with myself, I believe I prayed before it was too late. I took notice of the devil's attack and called out to my brothers and sisters in Christ for help. We are all in the walk together, to encourage, to love, to motivate, to lean on, to pray for...before it's too late. Take note when Satan is stirring in your heart and do not be afraid to call out for prayer.
I am ever so grateful that God put these exact words of this devotional on Joyce Meyer's website today, at this particular crossroad in my life because....it just "seemed to fit".